Today, I am 34 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy. If I’m “lucky”, I only have 6 weeks left. In the last couple weeks, the size of my belly exploded to an uncomfortable size. It grew so big so quickly, people are now joking that I could have two in there, even my husband says this (please no).
I am still not at the point where I want to be done being pregnant. I have too much to still do to want to be done being pregnant. If the baby came now (okay, how about a healthy gestational age of 37 weeks the earliest) I’d be even more overwhelmed than I am now. Nothing would get done after baby boy arrives. Once he’s here, it’s basically all about surviving those first few weeks with him, not starting projects.
As the days count down, you start your nesting instincts. I’m not normally a person to rearrange my room more than once, usually when I have the room set up, it stays that way, pretty much forever. But I think I have arranged my room 3 times now. I want to say I am finally satisfied with how it looks, which I am, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I get another wild hair up my ass and need to change something up… again.
What I find the most overwhelming at this moment is the daily chores. The constant need to do the dishes, clean and fold laundry, picking up after the kids, or even grocery shopping drains my motivation. It’s never ending, and when I do muster up the will to get these tasks done, it has consumed so much of my effort and time that I have nothing left for the things I do want to get done.
This is where I usually end up finding myself curled up in a ball in my bed, playing a game of mahjong to drown out my worries, yet increasing because what I am doing is extremely counter-productive, only making matters worse. But, I find myself doing it anyway.
I know my husband has been feeling overwhelmed, too. This is the time we should step up our production and preparation, but instead, my husband has been stepping down. He’s been doing less and less around the home, and engulfing himself into his outlets. I’ve been nagging at him more to get something done to improve our situation, and I can tell he is finding it hard to build up the motivation to. We are working together on this, though.
It’s the inevitable realization that we’re going to have it rough in about a little over a month’s time. Readjusting our life to fit around an infants schedule is tough enough. But also knowing our income is going to be very slim, pinching pennies now just so we are sure to survive on one person working. We’ll make it, but it’s not going to be easy.
So, with working extra now and trying to get the nursery set up, trying to get all the baby essentials we need, trying to stay on top of our household responsibilities, spending time with our boys, trying to spend time together between me and my husband, while trying to get into the mindset of soon having a newborn here, it can be a very overwhelming time.